I
had to leave the sanctuary of Anna’s studio to pick up my VA check at the
Virginia. Spiderman was at the desk holding up a foldout to the light. I slammed
the ringer to get his attention. He damned near fell out of his chair.
Recovering his composure, he said, “I see you Crash, but I’d rather look at
this. What do you think, is she a ten?”
I
glanced at it a second but asked, “You got my check yet?”
“Say,
you been takin’ vitamins or something?”
“I
didn’t come here for a date, sweetheart, I just want my check.”
He
put the magazine aside, pulled the government envelope out of my old pigeonhole,
and slipped it across the counter, “You ain’t drinkin’ are you?”
“It’s
only been a week. You think it shows?”
“Yeah,
it does.”
“I
just have to keep my head clear for a while. At least ‘til a few things get
straightened out.”
“I
gotta tell you. Some kind of detective was here and he was lookin’ for you. What
kind of shit did you get yourself into, Crash?”
“Was
he alone?” I couldn’t be too careful or I’d end up like Perry.
“Yeh,
why? What difference does that make?”
It
had to be Ryan because, when it’s official business, detectives come with
back-up. “Not sure, what did he say?”
“He
just asked if you were stayin’ with that Anna chick. You’re a lucky man, Crazhinski,
I sure do wish I was stayin’ with her.”
“Hey,
you’re starting to drool.” I stepped back to walk away. “But thanks Spiderman.
You don’t have to tell him I was here.” The thought came to me that Ryan didn’t
know where I was hiding out. Anna hadn’t let him know. I supposed there was no
reason to let him know.
I
went to the corner to cash my check. John had been doing that since I first
moved into the Virginia. I always paid up on the first of the month. I had him stop
my tab at fifty bucks so that I wouldn’t use up my reserves. That was my way of
budgeting my VA check.
John
cashed my check… counted it out and passed it to me. I peeled off fifty bucks
“No
Crash. You can get me later… when you’re back on your feet.”
I
looked at my feet, “I’m on my feet John. Here, take this. I’m okay, really.”
John
took the money, “You know; that cop friend of yours? Detective Ryan. He was
here first thing this morning… banged on my door before I opened. He says it’s
urgent.”
“I
know. I’d appreciate you don’t know anything… right.” I passed three quarters
over the counter and he passed back a pack of generic smokes.
“I
can’t lie to a cop, Crash.”
“You’re
an honest man, John. You don’t have to lie for me.”
I
was at the State Street traffic lights on 101 before I realized I hadn’t bought
a pint from John. It felt good. The walk-light changed and two steps into it I
had a vague urge to turn around. I didn’t have to struggle much though. It felt
like a big hand was on my shoulder guiding me away. It wasn’t long before I was
on the breakwater enjoying the surge of the surf pounding away under me. I sat on
the concrete bench to take in the morning sun. I knew what the big hand was and
the feeling was vivid… like the way I felt helpless while watching Adrian’s
birth… how she came out into this oh-so-fucked-up world fighting. Like Anna,
she wouldn’t be beaten by the perversity of adults. It was a feeling of awe,
fear, and beauty. That’s when I saw Ryan coming towards me from the Yacht Club.
Ryan
stood before me with stout legs planted apart, hammer fists at his waist, day
old carrot colored stubble on ruddy cheeks below piercing blue eyes. A wool
watch-cap covering bristled butch-cut on a neckless block of a head that was
welded on broad shoulders above a barrel chest under a Navy blue cable-knit
sweater. He had ten years on me and was a head shorter, but I wouldn’t take him
on. Hell, I’d rather stand naked without a cape in a bull ring against el Toro
than go toe-to-toe with the man.
I
patted my hand on the wet spot where the spraying surf from the night before left
a puddle, “Don’t sit here unless you want to get your butt wet.”
“Walk
with me to Mizz Sherlock, Crash. You in the mood for some fishing?”
“Depends
on what we’re fishin’ for, my friend.”
“I’m
not asking.”
Mizz
Sherlock was a clean boat of about forty-five feet… nothing fancy of about her…
a modified Main Lobster Yacht. Called a yacht but was a pretty modest one. The old
straight-eight marine engine that powered her could be pushed to twelve knots
max… cruised at eight and could plow through just about any seas. The cabin was
big enough to tuck a gateleg table that dropped down for a third berth and, on
the other side, a chart table for plotting a course. The most modern features in
the cabin were a marine radio, a scanner and a 1950’s radar screen otherwise, a
compass, sextant, and clock, were good enough for him. Forward of, and two
steps below the cabin, it featured a shower next to the head and, under the
bow, two more berths.
We
boarded and cruised out of the harbor. I knew he was going to fish for
something more than marlin and that he would be patient. The sea-air away from
the harbor was different… just as fresh and all… but there was something about
it.
We
baited our lines, set up our poles, and took turns at the helm. Ryan opened a
cooler and pulled out two cans… a beer for himself and offered me one.
“You
got a soda or something?”
“I
heard you quit drinking.”
“No.
Just laying off a bit. Who told you that?”
“A
little sparrow… ‘sides, you don’t look so shitty,” he laughed a deep roar. I
wondered whether I’d ever heard Ryan laugh.
Not
knowing how to drink a soda, I gulped it down and tossed the can off the stern.
It was a funny thing but I was embarrassed enough to think I needed to make an
excuse for my abstinence. I said, “I didn’t really quit. I’m just putting some
time between drinks, if you know what I mean.”
Ryan
pushed an empty five-gallon paint bucket next to me and scowled, “Put ‘em in
here next time.”
He
cut the motor and we just drifted with the current. He continued to look at me
with a scrunched rusty brow.
A
weight pressed my chest and caught in my craw, so I let it out, “Anna’s in
trouble.”
“I
know,” he dropped his empty in the bucket as his line went taut and his pole
bent some. He yanked the pole from its rod holder and hollered, “It’s fishin’
ya know.”
“You
got nothing there, pal,” the pole went back to its previous arc.
“Sometimes
the little ones fight harder than the big ones. You don’t know what you’ve got
until you pull it in,” he said.
“And,
like I said, you got nothing,” Anna hadn’t told me enough to know how much Ryan
knew or how much I should let him know. I wasn’t comfortable between these two
loyalties. I pounded a cigarette out of the pack but didn’t light it.
Ryan
was staring at my cigarette, “Fortuitous subject though… let’s talk about that.”
“Let
me guess, it’s not this smoke? It’s about Anna.”
“You
tell me. Anna’s too smart to get big headed. She’s in a trap she got into as a
small fry and now the ante has been upped on her.”
Ryan’s
eyes were still on my smoke, “Your old boss is into some pretty sick shit.
Worse than that, he took that bimbo with him and now it’s starting to cave in
on all of them.”
“Yes,
there’s Jenny, but I’m not sure who else you mean.”
“I
mean Perry. Bloody murder and more.”
“Anna
told me. You do know I was in jail at the time…?”
“You
probably don’t know what’s been going on. I don’t think you even cared until a
week ago. Am I right?”
“That
I care? Yeah, I suppose I do. Ryan, I think I’m coming alive. I feel it. I just
didn’t give a shit.” I patted my shirt pocket. Assured that I had a full pack,
I took the helm.
“And
now you do?”
I
began cruising just fast enough to create a froth. I watched the foam churning
up the ocean astern and, out of a strange compulsion, I tossed the new pack of
smokes over Ryan’s head into the roiling wake. I don’t know why I did it but it
felt right. It was letting go of another big chunk of the past.
I
looked back in time to see Ryan smile and a Marlin clear the water. It came
back down, missing the bait on my line. It was a majestic loop and a good sign
the day would be a good one. I shouted over the throbbing motors, “So, Anna’s
the live bait? Why are we fishing if you already have a bead on Doc?”
Ryan
reeled the squid towards the boat in front of where we saw the jumper and, as
an aside, he shouted, “Did you know great whites have some sort of instinct. A marine
biologist told me. If you kill one… well, the old ones… the big ones… they
skedaddle and don’t come back for a long-assed time. Maybe they discuss us. All
you’ve got to do is kill one. Folks don’t know that.”
“You
aren’t going to let me know more?” I knew there had to be more. There’s a
marlin out there and Ryan’s talking shit about great whites.
“About
fishing? Crash Crazhinski, you’ll know more when I know more. Try to remember,
this crap will take time and patience. I don’t trust her but stay close to Anna;
she can help us out but we don’t want to scare off the big ones. Her story has
some holes in it. Her heart is good but she’s a compulsive liar and is covering
her sweet ass… for good reason,” he said.
“Okay,
I get it now old man. Are you in love?” If there was a truth I knew up to this
point, it was that I hadn’t been paying attention before the other day. “She’s
kind of young for you. I take it that you’re not going by the book this time?”
“I
am. But the book we’re going by hasn’t been written. Circumstances always
warrant an exception. I have to tell you, something smells bad at the station.
Might go up near the top of the chain of command in the DA’s office. Someone’s
stepped on my earliest attempts to investigate.”
“So,
Ryan,” I was intrigued now. Ryan was going rogue. That wasn’t his style. I had
to probe, “I need to know what we’re getting into.” Still not sure what
anything he said was about, I added, “I’ve never liked working with the Embassy
back then either. Too much like catch and release.”
Ryan’s
rod dipped a couple of times, “Sometimes they tease the crap out of ya.”
I
cut the engines as soon as I heard the reel’s shrill r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r’s. He grabbed
the pole out of its holder and planted the butt of the rod under his belly. The
fight was on. I could see why Hemmingway loved Marlin fishing so much. It could
be compared to a fifteen round boxing match. And it looked like I had a
ringside seat for this bout. The line went straight down, pole bent… keeping
the line taught, Ryan reeled and released it… brought it closer and let it go out
forever further and reeled it back. The damned thing took a dive down at least
sixty feet. The line changed directions a dozen times before the fish breached
in a graceful leap coming back down as sure as a fencer’s parry and lunge. Ryan
and that leviathan had been at it at least an hour as I stood by with the gaff. Several times that fish got almost close
enough to gaff but wasn’t tired enough to give up.
I
was ecstatic even though I’d been at ready for so long. “What do you figure,
six hundred pounds?”
“Maybe
more. But look, there’s a great white’s fin… just disappeared out there.”
Another
half hour the Marlin had been tiring but found the reserves to turn away as
though fleeing. It mustered enough strength to make one more leap when, in
mid-air, it happened. That fucking great white breached and sailed in a perfect
trajectory to grasp the fish in its teeth at midsection and dove back down into
the deep.
“You
see that! Fucking robbed us!” I cursed, still holding the gaff at ready to haul
in our prize.
Ryan
pulled up his line with only the head of that huge Marlin on it. That was all
there was left of it. I swear he was off the charts giddy, “Yeah, but didn’t
that give you a rush better than any of your damned drugs?”
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